|
[04 Dec 2007|05:38pm] |
Booo. Why can't I ever write about good things? This whole year has been one big mess. This whole school year has been one big mess. I know what I'm doing to myself but I dont know how to change it. Whatever.
This peice is new. Not finished. An ode to summer.
Please, don't judge me for where i've been.
Knitting spaces
Most nights I could still feel you
Hiding in the cracks of my skin and
Caressing the open spaces between my bone tips..
You were always there
Lulling me to sleep from the insides of my rib cage,
& Cradling gently me like a noose..
I could feel you in my marrow
Aching like wounds or lost limbs I still feel in absence
You - Covered my skin in loose kisses
& Through them I could hear you
Wispering things i cant quite make out
but somehow think i know as fact like
you are alone.
And you'll always need me and
I know what you look like from the inside.
These lines always get me,
And you've always gotten me,
And this is my problem.
You pin me knee deap like prayer
Got me - Rooted in your soil
Wishing to be filled like dry rivers
Or ex mothers
Teasing me with your
Warm blanket wispers licking at my sides
And you - reel me in slow and soft
till i'm back to
knit - pulling your wellwishes through the maps of my veins
Feigning comprehension
& Wondering where these needle point constalations are going to end
I - Hang turnicates like ribbon trophies and sleep too often now.
& When you're not around, I ache to the centers of my bones and -
Stare upwards writing novels on my ceiling detailing the reasons
id left you for dead the first time.
& when you are around my words fail me at all the worst times
and my words are all I have now days, see - you wipe me empty
My skin tastes like winter..
And I've got the insides to match - now days.
& I dont even remember the last time i picked up a pen or
Spoke with my sister or
hated my mother long enough for it to matter anymore
And these things used to be important to me.
I'm sleeping in the bed of someone i stopped loving MONTHS ago
Just to feel like im not alone in this
Did you know?
That 80% of heroin addicts shoot up with somebody
But over 80% of overdose victims are found alone.
They tell me this - is MY truth.
& they're right.
So I trade your home for my ink well,
and I write.
And hope to heal
And I say fuck you to anyone who says poetry cant save somebody.
See, this is all I can do
Your - Secrets imbed so deap my mouth loses diction and
My eyes stay quiet.
I cover your pin pricks
And pray to sleep
But in those quiet hours..
I can still feel you.
|
|
|
[03 Apr 2007|12:19am] |
I have that slow kind of shrinking feeling.
Almost like my bones are shivering quietly down to nothing.
Hey, don't get me wrong though.
I'm sure most of you know I'm a pretty optimistic person.
We all have our weeks.
Its mostly just the high dissapating from my limbs thats left me in such a leveled state.
I've realized that for every good memory or experiance i've ever had theres been an undeniable undertone of disaster or sorrow that has come with it. Some more overwhelming that others. And this is what life is. A never ending cycle of crap building apon crap, we're all just running as fast as we can to keep up with the little good we just maybe might catch. Running as fast as we can before we get smothered.
I think its worth it though.
I think thats why I'm here.
|
|
|
[23 Aug 2006|01:34am] |
|
( Summer )
|
|
|
[23 Jul 2006|12:28am] |
|
Just kidding
|
|
|
[08 Sep 2005|04:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I hate music. |
] |
I hate fun.
|
|
|
[30 Aug 2005|12:01am] |
Friends only.
Leave me a comment so I know who you are.
& Please,
If you want to be added,
Add me first.
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
1415926's journal